The 6 Key Pieces of Advice from Meghan Markle's Create & Cultivate Keynote

It's been said that a woman who knows exactly what she wants is one of the most powerful creatures in the world. When Suits actress and The Tig founder Meghan Markle took to the Create & Cultivate stage on at our #createcultivateATL conference she gave attendees a glimpse at what that looks like. 

Charming, intelligent, and unafraid to let her guard down, Meghan is the definition of the modern woman. In celebration of her big day, we're reliving our favorite moments and best pieces of advice the actress, editor, and activist shared with #CreateCultivateATL attendees. 

1. "DON'T GIVE IT FIVE MINUTES IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA GIVE IT FIVE YEARS."

Passion was a hot topic at the conference all day. Meghan echoed this sentiment by telling the crowd that if they couldn't see themselves dedicating five years of their life to their endeavors, what was the point in even giving it five minutes? 

"Five years sounds like a long time," she said, "but it's really not." 

Time is precious. Focus your efforts on your passions and success is sure to come. "That's when you see your long-term goals payoff," she added.  

photo credit: David Rosario.

2. "BLIND OUTREACH IS JUST LIKE AUDITIONING, IT'S A NUMBERS GAME."

Meghan started developing The Tig after receiving advice from The Coveteur co-founder Jake Rosenberg, to do a site herself. A company had approached her to essentially create MeganMarkle.com, but after giving herself a gut check she knew it didn't feel right. She wanted her site to be less about fashion and include more "think pieces and op-eds about empowerment." 

But just because she's on a show, the actress said she still had to blind email people. "No one knew what The Tig was at the beginning," she said, "but I kept putting out outreach. At the time some people loved Suits and some people hadn't a clue what it was. It seems like I had more of an in, but it wasn't the case." 

She told the audience about cold emailing Heidi Klum's assistant for an interview request. "I don't know Heidi Klum," Megan said, "but she said yes."  

"We all do cold outreach."

photo credit: David Rosario

3. "STOCK EMAILS WITH TYPOS? FORGET IT." 

Meghan is all about a personal touch, explaining that she still sends out handwritten thank you notes.  "I can't tell you how few of them I get," she said, "but one hundred percent of the time, I end up remembering that person." 

And even though she acknowledges typos happen, she says it's vital to make sure you're proofreading. It shows the recipient that you're paying attention and that you value their time. 

4. "YOU DON'T HAVE TO PLAY DRESS UP TO BE A FEMINIST. YOU ARE A FEMINIST EXACTLY THE WAY YOU ARE."

After an audience member asked Meghan how she balances being a feminist with being feminine, Meghan answered that there is no difference. "They are not mutually exclusive," she shared. "You can be a woman who wants to look good and still stand up for the equality of women."

"You can be a woman who wants to look good and still stand up for the equality of women."

Tweet this. 

You're allowed to be a feminist in whatever way that looks like to you. 

5. "DON'T TRY TO WIN THE PART, JUST WIN THE ROOM." 

Meghan shared that as a biracial actress she has heard 'no,' an endless number of times. "Because," she said, "I was going in for the ambiguous girl, the black girl, the white girl, even the sassy Latina girl-- even though I'm not Latina and I'm not even that sassy."

"It's very hard to not question something about yourself in those moments," she said of the endless parade of nos. "But at the end of the day it does not matter if you get that part or you get that dream job. It may see like it at the time, but if you make fans of the people who saw you in that room, that carries on so much longer than what that job might have become."

6.  "IT'S ALL STILL EXCITING. BE GRATEFUL FOR THE LITTLE THINGS. THAT'S HOW YOU ENJOY IT."

Meghan told the audience that for five months she climbed into the back of her trunk after auditions because she couldn't afford to get the broken locks on her car fixed. "This epic day happened where the locks stopped opening with the key," she shared. "And the clicker wouldn't open the front doors. I couldn't afford to fix the doors and this was my girl, this is how I got from one audition to the other." So she would drive to auditions, park in the back of the lot, and once they were over, she'd wait until no one was paying attention and climb back into her car through the trunk. 

Never in her dreams did Meghan think she'd be on a show that has run for six seasons, but in sharing real and humbling moments she's able to enjoy and stay grateful for the journey. 

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Take the Leap: 5 Reasons to Start Before You're "Ready"

photo credit: Kelley Raye 

If you are reading this post, I'm going to guess that you either:

Have a full or part time day job and are running your blogging or creative business in your free time (and possibly want to take that blog or business full time) or,

Work on your blog or creative business full time and want to take it to the next level.

If either of these guesses are true, keep reading, friend.

You are not alone. There are a LOT of people trying to do exactly what you are doing. I write this not to deter you from doing it, but to illustrate that in order to stand out and grow, you're gonna have to take action.

Here's the really great news: You have a lot of power in this situation. More than you probably realize.

And to harness that power and start allowing big things in your business and life, you have to get comfortable with being a little uncomfortable.

One thing I notice with aspiring creative business owners vs. entrepreneurs is that they are timid to take big risks. They don't want to let go of that day job for fear of struggling financially. They don't want to reach out for that big opportunity in their business for fear of being rejected (or even worse, ignored). They don't want to talk too much about their work or ask too much money for their products and services, for fear that they will turn off potential customers and clients, or won't be able to deliver on their promises.

 "You have to get comfortable with being a little uncomfortable."

Tweet this. 

See a pattern forming? Yep, it's fear. Fear of not being ready. Fear of making a big commitment without knowing the outcome. Fear of not being good enough.

Fear of struggle.

Once you can move past the fear and use your intuition--that gut feeling--to make big decisions for your business, you will find that really great things will start happening.

But what if your gut is telling you that you aren't ready to take those big leaps?

Here are my thoughts on that:

1. Spoiler: You will never be ready.

You can plan your next move for years without ever actually making the move. It's fun to plan and research, isn't it? You are learning! You are filing all that information away neatly for the day that you are finally ready to launch. So much fun!

And you're totally protected by the fort of information that you have built around yourself.

But you are trapped. You have to take action, or all that research will go to waste. You might even find that the information you gathered wasn't as helpful as what you will uncover by taking the leap and putting yourself out there.

2. You will figure it out and learn as you go.

I run a product-based business and a couple of years ago I decided to start wholesaling my products to retailers. I knew nothing about wholesale, except that it was a great way to sell more product and get fresh eyes on my work.

One night, I finally decided to start reaching out to shops, and ended up getting a really large order. It was amazing. And so stressful!

I did many things wrong, even after following all the "advice" I had found online. I got paid late and I barely made any money.

But my experience with that order helped shape my entire wholesale program as it is today.

Now? I have regular wholesale orders and the bulk of my income comes from my wholesale business. And I get paid on time!

I threw myself into it and learned from my inevitable mistakes, and now it's no biggie.

3. The money will come.

I've amazed myself at times with how quickly I can make $300 when my feet are held to the fire.

I'm not here to tell you to quit your day job tomorrow, but trust me when I say that you know how to make money on your own. Sometimes that day job (or other job-like commitment) is a financial crutch. You think you need it.

You need money, not a specific job. There are plenty of ways to make money by doing what you love.  

Start figuring out ways to make up that income. Start scaling back your day job hours. Start taking back your time and devoting it to things that you really want to do. Do these things before you can rationalize it (by the way, the only rationalization you need is that you want to do it).

You might be amazed at how resourceful you are, too, when your feet are held to the fire.

4. Now is the best time to start building your experience.

The sooner you put new work out into the world and introduce it to the people that can help you grow your business, the sooner you will build a fantastic body of work.

Your work may not be the best ever the first time you create that new product, or reach out for that big brand collaboration or magazine feature. But if you do it now, and keep doing it over time while taking note of the things that weren't strong, you will improve.

If you don't look back and cringe a little at your old work, then you probably launched too late. Launch early and don’t give up on the opportunities that are important to you.

5. There's no better feeling than doing exactly what you want every day.

Several years ago, I spent most of my time doing all the things I should have been doing and only dreaming about all the things I actually wanted to do.

Now, I get to choose what I want to do most days. Being able to spend my time on things that bring me joy is one of the most empowering feelings, ever.

But you don't get to that place by sitting around waiting for it to happen to you. You have to chase it, wrangle it, overcome adversity, and ignore everyone saying "You know what you should do..."

Focus consistently on your goals, both big and small. What action will get you closer to achieving them? Do that.

And do it as soon as possible.

Casey Sibley is a Reno, Nevada based designer and writer. She writes the blog Leap Repeat, sharing her experiences in pursuing a business and life that brings her joy, and encouraging other aspiring creative entrepreneurs to lead a life by their own design, on their own terms. She also owns Casey D. Sibley Art + Design, a lifestyle brand of accessories and home goods in a colorful, modern style meant to inspire a happy life.

You can find her sharing behind the scenes snapshots of her work on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter, and a few thoughts on leading a joyful life on Periscope @caseydsibley.

An original version of this article appeared on Blog Society. 

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New Royalty, Meghan Markle, Shares 6 Pieces of Advice

photo credit: David Rosario. 

Take some advice from a real (almost) duchess ladies.

It's been said that a woman who knows exactly what she wants is one of the most powerful creatures in the world. And when the newly engaged (to ahem Prince Harry) Suits actress Meghan Markle took to the Create & Cultivate stage she gave attendees a glimpse at what that looks like. 

Charming, intelligent, and not afraid to let her guard down, Meghan is the definition of the modern woman and soon to be princess! Here are our favorite moments and six best pieces of advice the princess, actress, editor, and activist shared with #CreateCultivateATL attendees. Watch the full video here.

1. "DON'T GIVE IT FIVE MINUTES IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA GIVE IT FIVE YEARS."

Tweet this.

Passion was a hot topic at the conference all day. Meghan echoed this sentiment by telling the crowd that if they couldn't see themselves dedicating five years of their life to their endeavors, what was the point in even giving it five minutes? 

"Five years sounds like a long time," she said, "but it's really not." 

Time is precious. Focus your efforts on your passions and success is sure to come. "That's when you see your long-term goals payoff," she added.  

2. "BLIND OUTREACH IS JUST LIKE AUDITIONING, IT'S A NUMBERS GAME."

Meghan started developing The Tig after receiving advice from The Coveteur co-founder Jake Rosenberg, to do a site herself. A company had approached her to essentially create MeganMarkle.com, but after giving herself a gut check she knew it didn't feel right. She wanted her site to be less about fashion and include more "think pieces and op-eds about empowerment." 

But just because she's on a show, the actress said she still had to blind email people. "No one knew what The Tig was at the beginning," she said, "but I kept putting out outreach. At the time some people loved Suits and some people hadn't a clue what it was. It seems like I had more of an in, but it wasn't the case." 

She told the audience about cold emailing Heidi Klum's assistant for an interview request. "I don't know Heidi Klum," Megan said, "but she said yes."  

"We all do cold outreach."

photo credit: David Rosario 

3. "STOCK EMAILS WITH TYPOS? FORGET IT." 

Meghan is all about a personal touch, explaining that she still sends out handwritten thank you notes.  "I can't tell you how few of them I get," she said, "but one hundred percent of the time, I end up remembering that person." 

And even though she acknowledges typos happen, she says it's vital to make sure you're proofreading. It shows the recipient that you're paying attention and that you value their time. 

4. "YOU DON'T HAVE TO PLAY DRESS UP TO BE A FEMINIST. YOU ARE A FEMINIST EXACTLY THE WAY YOU ARE."

After an audience member asked Meghan how she balances being a feminist with being feminine, Meghan answered that there is no difference. "They are not mutually exclusive," she shared. "You can be a woman who wants to look good and still stand up for the equality of women."

"You can be a woman who wants to look good and still stand up for the equality of women."

Tweet this. 

You're allowed to be a feminist in whatever way that looks like to you. 

5. "DON'T TRY TO WIN THE PART, JUST WIN THE ROOM." 

Meghan shared that as a biracial actress she has heard 'no,' an endless number of times. "Because," she said, "I was going in for the ambiguous girl, the black girl, the white girl, even the sassy Latina girl-- even though I'm not Latina and I'm not even that sassy."

"It's very hard to not question something about yourself in those moments," she said of the endless parade of nos. "But at the end of the day it does not matter if you get that part or you get that dream job. It may see like it at the time, but if you make fans of the people who saw you in that room, that carries on so much longer than what that job might have become."

6.  "IT'S ALL STILL EXCITING. BE GRATEFUL FOR THE LITTLE THINGS. THAT'S HOW YOU ENJOY IT."

Meghan told the audience that for five months she climbed into the back of her trunk after auditions because she couldn't afford to get the broken locks on her car fixed. "This epic day happened where the locks stopped opening with the key," she shared. "And the clicker wouldn't open the front doors. I couldn't afford to fix the doors and this was my girl, this is how I got from one audition to the other." So she would drive to auditions, park in the back of the lot, and once they were over, she'd wait until no one was paying attention and climb back into her car through the trunk. 

Never in her dreams did Meghan think she'd be on a show that has run for six seasons, but in sharing real and humbling moments she's able to enjoy and stay grateful for the journey. 

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When This Editor Was Told 'Fashion Is Not for You,' She Did This

photo credit: Becki Smith/ Smith House Photography

"They looked me up and down and said, 'Fashion is not for you.'” That was the experience of Fashion Bomb Daily founder Claire Sulmers while working in the editorial department at a magazine. But instead of letting that slammed door stop her, Claire stuck to a mantra of "I will not lose," and built something different. Something inclusive. Something that matters. The @fashionbombdaily IG currently has over a million followers and the site serves as a platform for people who had the audacity to exist, when an industry told them otherwise. "We decided to take the bull by the horns," the editor and Harvard grad explained. "With a tremendous platform, you can’t afford to be silent." 

It is a sentiment echoed by all of the women who took to the stage for the Beyond the Binary panel at Create & Cultivate NYC, moderated by Bobby Kim. "If you're not going to give me the job, I’m going to go out there, find it, and do it better," said Deddeh Howard, the Liberian-born model who last year released her Black Mirror photo series, where she replaced models like Kendall Jenner and Gigi Hadid in major campaigns.

“There are a lot of women who feel like they don’t fit inside a pretty little box, but there are a lot of people out there who are looking for something different,” shared Claire. 

“I worked in the fashion industry for nine years in public relations,” shared Katie Sturino of 12ish Style. “My mentality was always, ‘Why am I so fat?’ ‘Why can’t I fit into these clothes?’ But I flipped the script and asked why am I punishing myself like that?”  

Also joining them on stage was model Emily Sears who gained notoriety last year when she began DM'ing the girlfriends and wives of men who would send her dick pics. "There is no picture of what a feminist looks like," Sears told the crowd, acknowledging that her predominately male following hates when she talks about feminism, but that doesn't stop her. She's not excluded from the conversation simply based on her looks or the fact that she posts sexy photos. "That's my decision and it's not an invitation for abuse," the Aussie-born model explained. 

photo credit: Becki Smith/ Smith House Photography

The main thread pulled through the conversation by Bobby Kim, co-founder of The Hundreds, and, most recently JENNIFER, was the question of whether or not it's getting better. 

"Is the industry changing?" asked Bobby. "Is it open, more embracing?"

“There’s a lot of ‘token,’ explained writer and blogger Nicolette Mason. “Here’s our person of color, here’s our person above a size 12, here’s our gender non-conforming individual, and that’s supposed to be enough. But brands need to think what they’re actually representing, the passive choices they’re making in all of their collateral, in-store signage, language that is used, and if it’s not leading the conversation, if it’s only for those marketing and PR moments, then it’s not worth anything.” 

“We need to stop with the labels, the categories, and give more people more opportunities,” said Deddeh. “I wasn’t trying to attack the brands,” she said of Black Mirror. “I was simply trying to get them to see what I can do and what any girl out there can do.” It’s about consciousness and awareness.   

Right there with her was Venezuelan actress, writer, and executive producer, Maiah Ocando who told the audience, "First of all I’m a human, then I’m a woman, and THEN I’m Latina. What opens the door for me is also the thing that closes the door." Just because she's Latina, Maiah explained doesn't mean she likes tacos and is curvy. Not shocking: typecasting is a thing. She refuses to let it be her thing. 

"First of all I’m a human, then I’m a woman, and THEN I’m Latina."

Tweet this. 

“Look, if I can’t change their minds, I’m going to create my own path,” explained the actress in reference to “white men.” She was interrupted by enthusiastic applause from the audience. "Well, I am," she projected. "I’m going to be my own executive producer. My own writer." 

The conversation didn't stop at the jobs held by the women on stage. "You also need more diversity behind the scenes,” explained Claire, so that major mistakes don’t keep happening. “You need nuance and context.”

For Nicolette, politics in her “brand” are a “non-negotiable,” even if that means losing a job now and then. “It’s imperative to me. I’m a queer, Middle-Eastern woman, and I can’t imagine not using the platform I have to speak to intersectionality. Working together and being part of the resistance together is such an important part of how we’re going to grow as a society. The personal is political and hopefully that’s how we create a better tomorrow.”

"The personal is political and hopefully that’s how we create a better tomorrow.”

Tweet this. 

photo credit: Becki Smith/ Smith House Photography

Similarly, Emily shared that she has "absolutely lost jobs" because of the stances she takes, but she likewise encouraged the audience to “stand by what you believe in and the right jobs will come.” 

“The reason we’ve all found success is because we have a point of view and we’re vocal about it,” elaborated Nicolette. “It’s important to give visibility to our individual identities, our voices, and to show people that they’re not alone.”

This is not the easiest road to walk. And for every two supporters, there’s a hater.

Protecting the indentity of what she called a "family and Catholic" brand, Nicolette told the story of a prominent Italian designer that reached out to her and said, “We really love you, but you’re gay.” So she recommended ten other people they could use. "That’s one example,” she said, "but there have been many. I do talk about Black Lives Matter, I do talk about trans rights, and some brands won’t touch me. On the flip side," she furthered, "there are brands that are so grateful and supportive.” She cited Target as one her “biggest cheerleaders,” as well as Barbie, which has doubled down on diversity efforts. 

Claire jumped in to agree. “You have to stay true to yourself.” When honoring the lives of black men shot by police, Claire said, “We decided we were going to have a ‘black out’ day where we posted nothing." She paused, noting, "You can’t afford to be silent.” 

Arianna Schioldager is Editor-in-Chief at Create & Cultivate. You can follow her @ariannawrotethis. 

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Sarah Michelle Gellar Talks Transitioning From Hollywood to Startup Founder

photo credit: Kelley Raye.

Successful women from different careers who now run a startup. 

That’s the story behind Sarah Michelle Gellar and Galit Laiblow co-founders of Foodstirs who took the Create & Cultivate stage this past Saturday in Atlanta to an audience of over 500 attendees. They talked a lot about taking the concept from idea to reality, overcoming doubt, as well as shifting out of their previous roles. 

‘Part of being an entrepreneur,” admits Laibow, who ran a successful PR firm or 12 years, “is not being afraid.”

They made the jump after shopping for ingredients for a baking play date with their kids. “Ingredients,” says Gellar, “that had more consonants than vowels.” Thus, Foodstirs was born and switch into roles that hadn’t previously imagined for themselves. 

“As an actor I’ve watched my industry change,” Gellar explains. “When I started you were either a movie actress or a television actress or you were serious and you did theater; the three didn’t meet anywhere. Then it changed and people realized you could jump from medium to medium.” She was looking for something else when the opportunity arose. ‘Ways,” she says, “[I] could still innovate and still be creative. Also, I’m a mom now, I have two young kids at young and I don’t want to be working 19 hour days and not see my children.”

“Even when you’re a producer you still have other people to answer to. It’s not necessarily the product you intended to make. What I’ve loved,” she says about her new role as founder, “is that now when we have an idea, what you’re seeing is everything we wanted it to be, because it's up to us and only us. It’s our battle to win. It’s so satisfying in a way I’d never experienced and it’s using my reach and creativity in a new way.” 

"What you’re seeing is everything we wanted it to be, because it's up to us and only us."

Tweet this. 

As for the partnership Laibow says she was hesitant to partner with a “celebrity.” Having come from the PR world she knew that celebrity doesn’t give a brand a fast-track to success; sometimes it's the opposite. “There are so many celebrities putting their names on things and the consumer is much more savvy. I did have a lot of reservations. I knew that if we did have a celebrity it had to be someone who was really passionate. Sarah and I had many late nights talking about it and she really believed it in. She’s a real co-founder. We both invested our own money and time and we don’t get paid right now.” 

“It’s been fascinating,” says Gellar, “you think we would have each just done what we’re good at; it doesn’t work like that. In the beginning there were days when it was just us. Neither of us knew how to HTML code so I went and learned how to HTML code our emails. They were maybe not the best or the most professional, but that’s how you start and that’s how you learning.” 

“Fail is the first attempt in learning. I don’t see failure as a bad thing. I see it as exercise. When you exercise,” adds Gellar, “you want to work out until your muscle fails so that it grows bigger and stronger. To me those are the steps in learning. That thought in your head is invaluable.”

"Fail is the first attempt in learning."

Tweet this. 

“I always wanted the brand to stand on its own,” Gellar says, “I’m not the face of the brand, but I am the co-founder. At the end of the day you want the brand to be bigger than the person. I don’t want to first thing you think of to be me, I want the first thing you think is ‘Wow! That tastes really good.’”

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