4 Times You’re Allowed to Say No at Work

Photo: Christina Morillo from Pexels

FOMO (fear of missing out) is real, and it happens in both our work and personal lives. Because of the fear of missing an opportunity in your career, it’s easy to find yourself on the “yes” train, only to feel overexerted and spread too thin. While taking advantage of opportunities that can help your career is great, it’s important to realize when saying no is in your best interest. Here are four times you’re allowed to say “no” at work.

1. When your calendar is already crammed.

When your schedule is jam-packed, saying no is probably the way to go. While you may be able to fit in a quick meeting or take on one extra project, it’s important to assess the obligations you’ve already committed to before saying yes to something else. Would taking on this extra task take a lot of time? How much would it cut into your current projects?

If saying yes to a new opportunity would hinder your ability to complete tasks you’ve already committed to, just say no. This can be hard, especially if you’re a people pleaser, but at the end of the day, taking on more is not always better. Instead, focus on putting your best foot forward on your current commitments.

2. When you’d be covering for someone else who’s always slacking.

Are you constantly covering for a coworker who can’t seem to be bothered to lift a finger? When your boss recognizes you for your ability to pick up the pieces, it can be hard to put an end to things—but there’s a point when it’s not worth it.

If you continually cover for someone or finish the work that they were supposed to, you’re showing that person that, A) you don’t mind that they’re slacking, and B) they can continue to slack off because you will finish what they don’t. In this case, you’re doing yourself and the other person a disservice. Try talking to them directly, and if that doesn’t work, discuss the situation with your boss. Point out that you’re taking on someone else’s role and it’s impeding on your ability to get your own work completed to your standards.

Try approaching the subject like this:

“I’ve been doing x, y, and z to help [Name], but it’s getting difficult to get everything done to my standards. I’m happy to help, but it seems to be more of an ongoing issue than a one-off situation, and I don’t want it to affect responsibilities I’ve already committed to. Is there a better way we can delegate responsibilities or create more accountability as a team?”

3. When it’s a last-minute request and you already have other obligations.

We’ve all had that last-minute work request that makes our stomach sink, whether it’s an after-hours event or a last-minute meeting. Sometimes, you just suck it up and deal with it (yes, it’s part of being an adult), but it’s okay to say no if it will impede on other obligations.

If you’ve already made other commitments, explain the situation. Show that you would like to make it work but it’s not an option since it’s last-minute. You can say something like this:

“Unfortunately, I’m not able to make that work because of the timing. I’ve already made another commitment I can’t cancel; however, I’m happy to work with you to figure out another time that works better.”

If your manager can’t appreciate that you’ve made commitments and you want to stick with them, you may not be in a work environment where you can thrive.

4. If it makes you uncomfortable (morally or physically).

This is simple: If something makes you uncomfortable, morally or physically, just say no.

If you feel like something isn’t right, trust your gut. You can always say “I’m not comfortable doing that,” or simply decline and say that you’re working on another project. Assessing the situation, your needs (both mental and physical), and how the request will affect you is essential to figuring out if the project is in your best interest.

If something makes you physically uncomfortable, get yourself out of that situation immediately, and contact someone of authority. Whether it’s HR or legal authorities, if there is misconduct in the workplace, use your voice, and be confident that no one should make you uncomfortable.

About the Author: Michele Lando is a certified professional résumé writer and founder of Write Styles. She has a passion for helping others present the best version of themselves, both on paper and in person, and works to polish an individual’s application package and personal style. Aiming to help create a perfect personal branding package, Write Styles presents tips to enhance your resume, professional style, and boost your confidence.

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This story was originally published on March 7, 2019, and has since been published.

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The Trick to Avoiding Burnout Isn't Delegating or Meditating

photo credit: Memorandum 

This whole business of building your dream career is not for the faint of heart; we know this. 

Delegate! The productivity hackers command. Automate! The digital marketing experts implore. Meditate before meetings! Suggest the self-care gurus. And yes, a healthy mix of all of the above will go far in helping to grow and expand one’s professional empire. The problem is that in the quest to outperform, overdeliver and yes maybe even overachieve, we often miss out on a powerful, potentially easier way.

What if I told you there was a nearly foolproof, feel-good tactic available to you? Right now. Something basically guaranteed to activate a serious mood-boost, along with a burst of motivation, creativity and enthusiasm for yourself and your team? A strategy that will help to drive demand for your products and services, build extreme team loyalty and attract your right people and opportunities your way, like a magnet.

So what is this powerful career cocktail?

Professional recognition.

Employees who do not feel adequately recognized are twice as likely to say they’ll quit in the next year, which seems likely as a Gallup poll conducted in 2016 found that employees often feel their best efforts are routinely ignored. In fact, the number one reason Americans leave their jobs is that they don’t feel appreciated. And yet, the Aberdeen Group found that only 14% of organizations provide managers with the necessary tools for rewards and recognition.”

Seriously.

So how do we turn this around? Here are 3 ideas: 

Seek out PR opportunities for your experts

The standard protocol is often to have the CEO act as the mouthpiece for a company, whether or not she is intimately involved in the subject matter at hand. Instead, make company PR a group effort. Encourage your team to seek out opportunities to write articles, contribute expert quotes, submit for career interviews, apply to speak on panels, heck, give a keynote speech. Share the spotlight with the experts who are helping you succeed and everyone wins. If you’re an employee, being opportunities like this to the table and argue your case.

Earmark budget (and-time) for awards and celebrations

Every cent matters, particularly in a startup environment. But take note of a World at Work study that found 46% of senior managers view recognition programs as an investment rather than an expense. From that perspective, consider putting money aside for external and internal recognition opportunities. Whether you apply for industry awards, incentivize an employee of the month program with a half day of paid-time-off, or host a quarterly peer-recognition love fest complete with seasonal snacks, ensure everyone knows these programs (and the core value of appreciation) are a company priority. 

Write love letters

One of my career maxims is to ‘lead with generosity.’ This idea aligns well with one of my favorite quotes by the French philosopher Simone Weil, particularly apt in our multi-platform, multi-distraction world: “Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity.” (It's also free.) 

One of my favorite strategies to bust through my own burnout is to send out emails of appreciation. I send them to people I know and complete strangers, anyone whose work I am inspired by, anyone who has gone above and beyond for me in a meaningful way.

No matter where you are at in your career, you have every opportunity to build yourself up - and those around you - through a heartfelt note of appreciation. 

By adopting formal-or even informal-recognition practices for yourself and your team, you’ll enjoy perks like an improvement in outside perception, an easier time attracting top talent, higher customer satisfaction, lower turnover, less frustration, a more highly engaged workforce and better business results overall. 

Now that sounds like something worth celebrating.

---

Crosby Noricks is the founder and director of PR Couture, the sourcebook for fashion and lifestyle communicators. As part of the site’s own 10-year anniversary celebration, Crosby launched The Bespoke Communication Awards, a global online award program established to recognize excellence among agencies, in-house teams, individuals and brands. The BCAs include a free “Favorites Category” nomination form for 6 awards, including ‘Breakout Lifestyle Brand’ and ‘Favorite Industry News Source/Publication’ - submit your faves today!

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The Most Inspirational Thing You'll Read All Day

Mel Robbins used to work all day long. She never set a stop time and so, she never stopped. But the renowned motivational speaker, creator of The 5 Second Rule, and a best-selling author and Audible Original host, is on a new track-- one that took her many years and 5 seconds to figure out. 

At 41 her life was a mess. (Self-admittedly.) She couldn't get out of bed. She was unemployed. And then she changed her life with the 5 Second Rule. Laying in bed Mel counted backward from 5 to zero. 

In that blip of time she activated her prefrontal cortex, which, according to Mel (and science) "is the part of the brain in charge of decision making, strategic thinking, acting with courage, learning new behavior, and working towards goals."

She's now the host of the Audible Original, "Kick Ass with Mel Robbins," where she talks to real people with real problems. Sound like you?  

Read on. 

You've said that dreams deserve 5 minutes in the morning before you let the world in. Can this kind of thinking be applied to any point during the day and have the same effect?

Most of us live our day-to-day in a reactionary mindset. We’re rolling through our to-dos, firing out emails, doing the daily chores and tasks, and getting what needs to be done finished.

And, as long as you’re putting out fires, you aren’t moving the ball down the field on what matters most to you. We knock things off of our to-do lists because that feels productive, but because we never actually make any real progress on the things that matter, we often still feel a void in our lives.

Your dreams will never come to life if you’re checking boxes off your to-do list. Instead, you need to take deliberate time each day to make meaningful progress on your goals.

I do this by carving out 30 minutes each morning of protected time to work on my goals.

There’s a reason the morning is the best time to work on your goals–and it lies in neuroscience.

According to Duke University professor and researcher Dan Ariely, we all have a two or three hour window of peak productivity every single day–and it starts an hour after you wake up.

So, if you pop out of bed at 6 a.m., your peak thinking and productivity window is 7 a.m. – 9 a.m.

I do whatever it takes to find 30 minutes before 7:30 a.m. to plan out my day and spend some time on a project that matters to me.

Why else is it important to plan and do the most important stuff first thing? Because it’s the best time for the brain to focus on the tasks or goals that advance your own personal or professional goals.

Answering emails, taking phone calls, sitting in meetings have a way of taking over your schedule and rarely lead to making major improvements in your life.

The concept of “30 before 7:30” cannot be done once you walk into the office. You must do this at home, at your favorite coffee shop, on the train, or sitting in your car in the parking lot.

Do not try to do this at work. The moment you walk into your office, answer that first email, or take that first call–your day is gone. Your attention is no longer being focused on your own goals and dreams.

For your own happiness and to protect the time necessary to focus on the deep work, the first two hours of your day must be grabbed by you. Now, if every once and a while you’ve a morning in which it’s impossible to take 30, you can leave it until the evening. But I’ve found that most of the time “later” becomes “not today.” At night, you’re tired–and you’re about 12 hours past your peak thinking window.

If you are making progress on projects that matter, even if for just a few minutes a day, you are winning the long game.

For our readers who have a hard time setting professional boundaries-- they're burnt out, they're replying to emails constantly, they never say no, they work weekends-- what's your advice?

When I find myself working around the clock, I remember Parkinson's Law.

Parkinson’s Law states that work expands to fill the amount of time given to it, which means that if you never set your own boundaries, you'll literally ALWAYS be working.

And that not only wears you down–it wears other people in your life down, too. A recent study found 33% of people answer messages in the middle of the night. And you don’t need me to tell you that checking your emails at 3 AM puts you at risk for burnout and emotional exhaustion.

Instead of endlessly working and being addicted to your phone from sunrise to sunset, try this: Set a time today that you will absolutely stop working.

As someone who used to work all day long, I was amazed what happened when I started setting a quitting time, something I now do every single day.

Instead of becoming less productive, I actually got more done. With my quitting time in mind, I was more focused, concentrated, and made even more progress.

A quitting time is the difference between an unfocused 12 hours of work or a productive, distraction-free 8 hours–in which you get the same amount of work done.

If you can get serious about managing distractions and removing them, you will find your productivity is off the charts. Every interruption takes 25 minutes to fully recover from and get back into focus mode.

If signing off at 5 PM makes you nervous, try this method for just one day. Before you get to work, take your 30 before 7:30 and plan out your day. Once you get into the office, write your quitting time down and start on your #1 project of the day before you check your email. Keep your phone on silent and your computer’s notifications off. If you find yourself getting tired, get up and walk for 5 minutes.

By 5PM, you will have most likely accomplished as much as you would working even longer.

Try this one day at a time and you’ll find that the extra time to recharge at night actually makes you even more productive the next day!

On a related note, the art of managing distractions is one of the superpowers of the 21st century. If you can tune out the notifications, the noise, and the chatter, you will get twice as much work done in half the time–allowing you to have quality time with your family and loved ones at night.

For young working women there are fear-based thoughts that if they don't do all of the above (are the last one the leave the office, say no to answering emails on the weekend, etc.) there will be someone behind them happy to take their place. What do you say to that?

The key word here is “value.” There’s a major difference between showing up at work (no matter how many hours you are online) and providing real value.

If you make your boss’ life easier and you further your boss’ strategic objectives, you are providing an incredible amount of value–and your boss will not think about firing you, even if you set clear boundaries around your time.

The secret to providing value is to ask yourself one question every day.

It’s to put yourself in your boss’ shoes and ask: What is the most valuable thing that I can do for him/her?

When you choose which projects to work on, you should actively seek to align your workload and your priorities with your boss’ objectives. While it may be more fun for you to work on projects that are not as important, when you become a proactive strategic contributor, you become an invaluable asset to your team.

If you’re currently not a huge value-add to your company, you can change that starting now. Tomorrow, ask your boss to talk and find out his or her strategic objectives–and start to align your work in this direction.

This question also gives you a formula for how you will answer other people who ask for your time and energy at work.

Many of us, especially women, want to please everyone in our lives, and it’s no easier to say no to a colleague or your boss as it is to say no to a friend or family member.

At work, you need to get clear on your priorities. And then, when someone asks you to do something that you don’t have time for or that would hurt your work on your most important projects, here is how to say no without feeling guilty:

First: understand that you are not saying NO to the person. You are saying it to the task. You are also saying YES to prioritizing your own time. If a colleague asks you, acknowledge the request and thank the person for thinking of you, explain why you don’t have the time due to your other projects, and then offer a lifeline by helping them brainstorm another person or offer guidance if they need help.

Second: if your boss is the one to ask for a request, use it as a strategic, high visibility moment. Listen to the request and then say that you are aiming to help them with strategic priorities and ask what is most important for you to focus on: this new project or your current work.

Remember: if you don’t prioritize your time and learn to say no, someone else will be the one to dictate your priorities, which is not the key to making progress at work.

It’s not just important to “say no” to projects that don’t align with your strategic goals. It’s also important to “say no” to being available all the time. If you don’t take care of yourself, it’s impossible show up as your best self. Research shows that today’s pressure to always be accessible has left more than half of workers feeling burned out and in desperate need of a reset button. In the United States alone, 200 million days are lost from work each year due to mental health issues, which is costing employers over $100 billion.

Researchers believe that one reason women are not promoted at the same levels men are is because of burnout. Women face high expectations in the home and at work (especially be having to be “always on” even after work hours).

Being “always on” is impossible. Make sure to prioritize things like sleep, getting time outdoors, exercising, not sitting all day, and spending time with friends.

And, if you’re actively aligning your workload with your company’s top priorities and getting more done in less time by managing distractions, you will become an invaluable employees who can set boundaries–and not have to worry about being replaced by someone else.

Sign up for Audible today! And listen to Kick Ass with Mel Robbins. Change your life already. 

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More Than Half of Women Say They Don't Have Enough Time to Do This

If you feel like you don't have enough time to do what you want to do, you're not alone. 

A recent Gallup poll found that six in 10 working Americans (61%) say they do not have enough time to do what they want, compared with 32% of those who are not working. 

61% of females ages 18-49 also say that they don't have enough time to do what they want. 

Sound like you? It's a time-trap-crunch that we've all found ourselves caught in. But the question remains, how do we find some ME TIME in between all of our work hours and commitments? 

1. FLIP THE WAY YOU START YOUR DAY 

Most of us feel the time crunch start from the moment we open our email. Often this happens before we even get to the office. How many of you are guilty of rolling over, checking your inbox, and making sure there's no fire to put out? That is a surefire way to always be playing catchup. Your inbox is someone else's to-do list. 

2. FOLLOW THE TOUCH-IT-ONCE RULE 

We've talked a bit about this before, but the emails we open and don't address take up a lot of space in our minds. Space that we can use to problem solve or come up with creative ideas. The way it works is simple: if you open it, answer it. That way you will be able to more fully focus on -- and execute-- tasks throughout the day. You'll find that as you do this, it not only frees up more brain space, but TIME as well. You can use this extra time to meditate or take a walk-- even if only for 15 minutes. 

3. OK, BUT 15 MINUTES ISN'T WHAT MOST PEOPLE ARE TALKING ABOUT (when they say they don't have enough time)

You're right. 15 minutes does not give you actual me time. It's a respite, not a reprieve. Which, is why it's so important to clock out during vacation time. If you don't have to answer emails this coming Friday, don't do it. Give your brain the time to power down. 

Vacation is seen as a luxury, instead of a right, and it's made it so that few full time working Americans are taking time-off. In 2014 42% of working Americans didn't take a single vacation day. Not one. In 2013 Americans collectively squandered 169 million vacation days. Yet this pattern is taking its toll on workers, proving to have a negative ripple effect on employee mental health, productivity, even the economy. 

Taking your vacation days is necessary.

4. LEARN THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN 'FREE TIME' & 'ME TIME'

It's more than likely you've squandered your free time. Free time feels slightly more flexible. But if you schedule your me time to do something [insert your GOAL LIST here] you really want to do, it will recharge you in a different way.

Or if that doesn't work, repeat "Beep Boop" until your start smiling. 

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How to Own Your Glow During the Most Dysfunctional Season of All

In her new book, OWN YOUR GLOW: A Soulful Guide to Luminous Living And Crowning The Queen Within, Latham Thomas talks about how, "Personal growth is not about how much you accumulate but how much you release." In the book, Thomas, who is also the creator and mama guru at Mama Glow, offers an antidote to the hustle-hard/burnout fast culture, instead suggesting a slower and intentional pathway to empowerment. 

When it comes to our careers (and our career fears), "releasing" might sound like some NO_WAY_NOT-HAPPENING kind of advice. (If the idea of that has you clenching your fists, this read is def for you.) After all, we want to accumulate: titles, raises, praise. Right? Well, what if we flipped the script a bit? Especially during the upcoming holiday season when we can all get a little... antsy, to put it nicely. Because the holidays are hard. On everyone. We don’t take care of ourselves and contrary to glowing xmas tree lights, we all tend to DIM A LIL BIT. 

Own Your Glow, is the ideal way to stay on life track and a way to stay bright-eyed and bushy-tailed as we close out 2017.  So we asked Latham to talk about what she dubs “The Core Four,” as  they relate to career and the workplace.

Latham tells us: 

I encourage you to start asking yourself probing and productive questions to unlock hidden tendencies and obstacles and identify parts of yourself that need a little more glow so you can step more prominently into your power. When you construct your questions, use what I call “the Core Four”: who, what, when, and how. Here are some questions I invite you to explore as you reflect on your journey professionally.

When we are ready to facilitate change and up level our lives to harness what lies ahead we naturally take stock of what’s already on our plates and what we need to increase for our abundance and what we need to release. 

Who am I holding on to by attracting people who don’t serve my highest good?

When we anchor ourselves in soil that is seeded with people who aren’t vested in our success, who don’t value our gifts and who are committed to catty competition, we replay the same patterns and experience the same lack of growth personally and professionally. Who deep down inside are we afraid of loosing, or becoming by keeping the wrong company? Find your flock. Invest time with people who make you feel more radiant who serve as a catalyst for the good in your life. This can be in the form of mentorship or sponsorship, a sister circle of friend supporters, a group mastermind or an online private group.

"Invest time with people who serve as a catalyst for the good in your life."

Tweet this. 

What do I gain by remaining stuck in the same situation or circumstances?

It’s easy to adhere to the stories we tell ourselves about our circumstances. Why is it that I can’t seem to advance in my position? Sometimes staying in the same position or lingering in circumstances that we’ve outgrown serves as a comfort zone and an impediment to our personal growth. Sometimes being stuck feels most comfortable since it’s familiar. What would we gain if we moved past our comfort zone professionally speaking? What would it look like to put more on your plate, not task wise but risk wise? A quick way to jump forward past your circumstances is to embrace risk and commit to doing what scares you. Take on a project that will help you spread your wings, activate a team of supporters and show off a ton of your skills. 

When do I feel my best, and what is keeping me from following that feeling?

Self-care is about assessing what supports you at the deepest level and honoring those feelings and responding with rituals and making space for yourself to rest and recharge. A strong self-care practice sharpens our discernment and we learn what supports us and what depletes us. When we feel our very best we make choices aligned with that sense of well-being. Knowing what actions lead to you feeling your best will help you stay on track with moving towards your goals and achieving them. 

"A strong self-care practice sharpens our discernment."

Tweet this. 

How have I constructed my life to follow other people’s rules? 

It’s important to explore the paradigms we operate within. We have been indoctrinated to be kind, to keep in line, to follow the rules and always say 'yes' and please everyone else at the expense of our own well-being and happiness. Where do you need to excavate these patterns that are rooted in a lack of self-awareness? What are the building blocks of beliefs you’ve used to construct your life? What needs to crumble for you to succeed? I decided to stop following the rules a long time ago and my life has been prosperous ever since. 

Want more? Grab your own copy of OWN YOUR GLOW: A Soulful Guide to Luminous Living And Crowning The Queen Within by Latham Thomas

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