Raise your hand if you spend your time stuck in the past reviewing all that went wrong today, yesterday, or maybe even your entire life? How about time spent in the future hoping, dreaming, and wishing that people, things, or events were different than they are? Yes, I see you. Any time spent out of the present moment is time spent creating everything you don’t want. So why do we do it? Our thoughts, beliefs, and actions will lead us to where we are now.  We can create change by identifying what our core beliefs are and transforming our belief systems.

I’ve been trained to start with noticing where we are holding our trauma in the body first and then re-programming the mind—learn more on my Emotional Reset Method—yet awareness is still key. I have seen thousands of people reclaim their lives to create what they truly desire in their lives. I recently worked with three completely different people struggling with the same core thought patterns. Ahead, I’m breaking down three thought patterns that will destroy the chance of creating your desires. Read on to learn what they are and how you can turn it around.

1. “I feel like if I let go, something bad will happen.”

Imagine holding a balloon and then squeezing it as tight as you can. That balloon is going to fight you on it. It’s most likely not going to pop unless you poke it with a sharp nail or object. It’s just going to resist you until you’re frustrated, exhausted, and let go. Nothing bad happens, it just isn’t going to change anything.

This goes for life, people and events as well. The more you control something, the more it will control you. More importantly, expecting something “bad” will only increase the chance of you unconsciously creating the “bad.” It is when you release your expectations that you can open to all that’s possible.

The Fix: Experiment with letting go, and setting yourself free. Until you try it, you‘ll never know what is possible. 

2.“I feel guilty going and doing my own thing.”

Katie is a wife, mom, daughter, and owner of a successful small business. She wakes up every morning to make breakfast for her husband and girls before running off to work to be available for her staff, then she picks up the girls after school, checks in with her aging mom to be of any assistance she needs, and gets the household ready for dinner along with anything necessary to get done before taking on the next day. For the last three months, she has been feeling a sense of guilt for her desire to start photography classes and fulfill an inner creative calling. As we dialed in on the core root of her pain, she stated, “I feel guilty going and doing my own thing.” Can you relate?

Ignoring our desires and stuffing them down will eventually spiral into anger, resentment and ultimately, a life lived with regret. Any desire that we feel from our heart is meant to show us our own unique path to fulfillment. The more you ignore it, the more unfulfilled you will be. The more you listen and follow, the more inner peace, joy, and fuel you will feel and have to share with the ones you love.

The Fix: Ask yourself, “Do I want to live with regret, or do I want to inspire myself and others with my gifts?” Write down what those gifts are that you want to share. Then start actively working towards making that change.

3. “I am ___.”

Take seven days to write down any words you say on a daily basis that precede the words “I am.” This is what you believe about yourself (and sometimes what you believe about everyone else). Is your mind saying, “I am happy” or is it saying, “I am so mad?”  You choose your state.

The Fix: Keep a running list in the note section on your phone and at the end of the week, take the negative statements and re-frame them into the positive. State the positive statements each morning until you feel the change. This is who you really are. You’re welcome. 

About the Author: Robin Emmerich has spent close to a decade coaching some of the most successful women in business. Even with their considerable success, the common denominator is that as much as they seemed to be cruising through life on the outside, they were melting on the inside. It’s why Robin just launched Beauty and the Mess—an athleisure brand creating a sisterhood who understands that life is messy and difficult and challenging, but together, can find the strength to prioritize passion over perfection and fearlessly seek beauty in their everyday lives. She currently offers the “Live the Life You Desire” self-transformation course based on the legacy she was graciously gifted from her mentor Dr. Coletta Long, a pioneer and expert on the power of the subconscious mind, individual coaching, and worldwide retreats. Need some inspiration? Download your free meditation to get clear and tap into your inner wisdom at robinemmerich.com. Additionally, you can connect with Robin on Instagram or beautyandthemess.com. 

Love this story? Pin the below graphic to your Pinterest board.

This story was originally published on August 7, 2019, and has since been updated.

MORE ON THE BLOG